My Help and Deliverer

<sup>Psalm 40 has been on my heart the past week. Check it out: 


"1</sup>I waited patiently for the LORD;
   he inclined to me and heard my cry.
²He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
   out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
    making my steps secure.
³He put a new song in my mouth,
   a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
   and put their trust in the LORD.


Sometimes, I face days, weeks, and months where I look at myself and say something like the apostle Paul did: "I don't get it. I don't do what it is that I want to do (the right thing), but the very thing that I said I wouldn't do over and over again!". It utterly bewilders me that I can be convicted of doing something, and yet, when the opportunity presents itself to not do that very thing...I go and do it all over again! My purpose in life is to not live for myself, to live apart from this world, and to reach others for Christ. But I doubt. When I feel led to do something, I don't do it. Not because I don't want to, but it is simply a matter of a feeling of unworthiness. How can God reach anyone through some messed up person like me?


And then this passage hits me right between the eyes. Read Verses 1-3 over again:


"1I waited patiently for the LORD;
   he inclined to me and heard my cry.
²He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
   out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
    making my steps secure.
³He put a new song in my mouth,
   a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,  
   and put their trust in the LORD."

The Lord can use our sins to lead others to him, if and only if we will allow him to lift us out of the filth that we wallow in and live changed lives. I personally struggle with this part. Don't get me wrong, I don't enjoy displeasing God with my words, actions and attitudes. I am just really stubborn. I like having things my way. And so often, that attitude is what gets me into trouble. I have it my way, which is often outside of the will of God, and then I find myself sunken into this "miry bog" as David calls it. But don't we all? Don't we all get caught up in doing whatever it is that we want to do, and that followed by more of what we want to do? How often do we kick God out of the driver seat? But isn't it amazing, that in spite of all that we do against the will of God that he still rescues us? Let me ask you another question, though. How often do we jump right back into our pits of destruction? I will admit, I do it a lot. But as I read this passage, I am like banging my head against my desk, wondering why I am so stupid. It is like not being able to swim, but jumping off the lifeboat time and time again, and then begging to be rescued. We can't fight sin ourselves, no more than someone who can't swim can save themselves in a 100 feet deep lake. So why on earth do we continue to jump right back in? God delivered us from that sin...why do we continue to put ourselves in positions where we have to fight it? 


I want to go back to verse 3 again:


^"3He put a new song in my mouth,
   a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,   
  and put their trust in the LORD."


When God rescues us from our sins, he puts a new song in our mouths. He expects us to live changed lives. He expects that we will live our lives in such a way that it is like a "song of praise to our God". Friend, what does your life speak of? Does it speak of praise for yourself, and your own efforts? Or does it speak of praise for the Lord? Because unless it is the latter, your testimony will be worthless. Apart from Jesus, your life story will not cause anyone to "see and fear and put their trust in the Lord". It is definitely a thought to chew on, is it not? More to come. 


Seeking deliverance as I wait,
Alicia
Psalm 138:8