Waiting Blindly.

I was riding in a car awhile back, and we were stuck behind a trucker who was driving way below the speed limit. The person I was riding with kept checking for opportunities to pass. Time after time, minute after minute, they didn't pass this truck. I couldn't see around the truck like they could, but that didn't stop me from wishing that we'd just past the truck already. What I could not see were the dangers that were coming at us. 

I have had a revelation of sorts. I have often used the illustration describing letting God have control of our lives as us getting out of the driver's seat and into the passenger's side instead. I think that whoever started using that illustration was truly onto something. But there is more. It may have felt meaningless sitting behind that truck, when we could have been moving on to our destination quicker. At the time, in that instant, this feeling made sense. Then the car that only the driver could see would go by on the opposite side of the road. Again, and again this happened. 

This instant opens up a deeper question inside of me, deep inside my soul. I feel that tug of conviction. Just how often am I like that in my walk with Christ? I have given up the control of my life. I have let God take the wheel. Then I sit there and question His driving. He alone can see what is on the road ahead, but I somehow have the audacity to think that I know better, even as the cars whiz by from the opposite direction. 

"And I will lead the blind

     in a way that they do not know,

 in paths that they have not known

     I will guide them.

I will turn the darkness before them

          into light,

    the rough places into level ground.

These are the things I do,

    and I do not forsake them."

                                           

                                   Isaiah 42:16

This scripture just breathes to me. I draw such strength from it. To know that the Lord will guide me and to fulfill the purpose that he has for me is amazing.

But this also a challenge to me. I need to truly allow the Lord be lord and lead me without me questioning quite so much. This is my challenge, my resolution for the year. Sometimes life gets pretty crazy. Work. School. Not seeing my boyfriend as much as I would like. All of it is hard. Sometimes I feel like life is going to cave in on me...and I am blind. It seems meaningless sometimes, but I have got to be still, knowing that the God has some purpose behind it all. And maybe once I pass this season of my life, and am passing the truck in my life that seemed so meaningless at the time, I will be a vessel that is ready to be used according to His purpose. Or maybe I will move into another season. That is unknown. For now, I am blind to that. Waiting. Calmly. Quietly. Faithfully.

As I wait,

Alicia 

Psalm 138:8