Nothing and Everything I Ever Dreamed Of

I used to be such a dreamer. I used to gaze out my window, and would study the clouds, just dreaming about the future and all that I wanted it to  hold. The places I would go, the people I would meet. Who would I marry? Will we have kids, will we have the house with a white picket fence? What is my purpose in life? I dreamt of serving in youth ministry, in music ministry, and as college loomed ahead, of being a teacher. Which should I choose? Was choosing even possible? I was a girl with stars in her eyes, and a fire for life.

In the time that has passed since college, I have often felt like I am in a holding pattern, on the verge of achieving all of my wildest dreams. I had such grand plans. I thought that life would look different by now. I thought that at this point, I would have started my teaching career, that I would be well on my way to paying off my school debt. But nothing ever goes as planned.

Years have passed, and many of my young, girlish dreams have come true. They are nothing and everything that I ever dreamed that they would be...but in the best way possible. I am married, living in the happily ever after that I always longed for. Marriage is a beautiful and messy thing. A journey of a lifetime that doesn't end when you ride off into the sunset with Prince Charming. Life is crazy busy. I am working full-time in retail. I am in youth ministry, serving alongside my husband in ways that I never even knew I could. I am serving in music ministry, planning and leading worship every third month. I am teaching two young ladies the art of playing the flute. In some crazy way, God has taken all the pieces of my young, girlish dreams and fit them together in the best, and most unexpected way.

So maybe I am not teaching music in a school somewhere. So maybe I have school debt. So maybe we rent, and don't yet have a home with the space for the pitter patter of little feet. Such is life.

                                  "Delight yourself in the Lord,

                                        and He will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4)

He has known the desires of my heart, and He has made all my wildest dreams come true. Never in the expected way, but in the way only He can. And like Him, it is good. So good.

Embracing Life

as I wait,

Alicia

Psalm 138:8